noarchitact | 🌿🏛️

What the hell is all of this?! What are the vines! And these trinkets! AND WHY ARE YOU SO DAMN CALM?!

[Did he hear all of that? Yes. Is he going to lift one of his headphone cans and ask,]

Were you saying something?

[Also yes.]

[ Kaveh looks like he might pop, but he steels himself and takes an even breath, stepping over his things and moving closer. ] Of course I was saying SOMETHING. What did you do to our living room?!

[Alhaitham just sort of watches him come closer, and deigns to close his book properly to answer him.]

One of the pipes under your floors burst. Apparently there was an unchecked Dendro accumulation next to our house.

[Is he going to say he immediately went to salvage what he could of Kaveh's things before they were ruined? Nope! Better not let his ego inflate.]

Perhaps you would have noticed it if you paid more attention when you come home drunk every night.

[ he bites his tongue as his cheeks inflate. ] And how did that happen? How long is that going to take to fix? We can't leave all our things in the living room like this? I can't work in these conditions? I'm working on a big project and I just... this is... [ he still looks like he's going to explode. ] I'm not always drunk... [ he deflates a little... dropping into the space beside alhaitham. ]

Why did this have to happen now of all times. I need to finish this. And the guy won't stop asking for revisions. If he doesn't stop I think I'm going to go mad. I don't know what he wants. I don't think he even know what he wants. Old coot. [ huffs. ]

[Not making space for him so Kaveh's mostly squished against the arm of the couch.]

The estimate was two weeks. Stop catastrophizing, you've turned out excellent work under worse pressure than this. And I don't know why you agree to so many revisions, you just end up running yourself ragged.

[There's a pause. He turns his face away.]

Mehrak is not allowed in my bedroom.

[ he shoves himself against alhaitham in attempt to FORCE more space. jerk! ] Two weeks?! W- What the heck, Alhaitham? How could you agree to something so INSANE! ...because I need the mora. I... And he needs to be happy or... [ he heaves a sigh. ] I might end up telling him to go shove it. He's driving me insane.

What? How come!

[ mehrak pops up from behind the couch. ] Pii pi pi.

What did he do?

Then tell him to shove it. It's not like you're going to be able to pay your back rent any time soon, so what's a couple more months.

[And he really, truly doesn't mind paying for everything in the house. He's not using his salary for anything else other than rare books and all things Kaveh-related, which incidentally were at the top of the list of important things in his life.

Trying to get Alhaitham to budge is like pushing at a wall sorry!! Better squish yourself in, thighs pressed together!!!]

You make enough noise already, and if we're sleeping together I am not waking up at an ungodly hour to beeping noises.

[ kaveh opens his mouth to protest, because of course he wants to tell the man to shove it. he's being obnoxious in his ~~demands~~ requests, but he ~~can't~~ won't because he needs the money. he really does hate owing alhaitham mora, because he already owes him so much already. sure, sure, one more month of rent might not seem like much to him, but to kaveh... it's just another pile of mora to add to his mountain of crushing debt. ]

[ he heaves a sigh and doubles over, taking his head in hands. ] It would be nice not to feel like I'm nothing more than... a burden...

Pii pi ppi. [ i'm not louder than kaveh's snoring. ]

W- What?! I don't snore! [ he snaps upright and shoves a finger in mehrak's 'face'. ]

Pi. [ you do. ]

I do not! [ mehrak moves around the couch. ] Piii pi pi. [ when you're drunk you do.

What you feel like what you are is all in your head. [Motioning to Mehrak.] You're right, but you're still not allowed in my room.

[He slings an arm over the back of the couch, behind Kaveh, relaxing like there isn't a giant overgrowth of plant taking over half their house.]

Did you skip dinner again?

Pii pi. [ mehrak leers at alhaitham and then chirps again, leaving... and if alhaitham listens to his beeps as he's doing so he'll be able to make out that he's saying he's not going to get him coffee beans again. ]

No. [ he leans a bit closer to alhaitham now that he's put his arm behind the couch and more or less made a little room for him. ] I didn't have money to pick up anything and, well, look at the state of our house.

[Don't worry, he already has three sub-plans to strongarm Mehrak into later. Right now, he's busy with one of his favorite hobbies: Kaveh.]

Comb your hair, we're going to Lambad's.

W- Wait, what, [ but he perks up. ] …for a drink? [ he says, hopeful. ]

Are you aware that there are food groups other than alcohol?

Are you aware that you nag too much?

[Haitham turns his head to stare at him for a long moment.

And then he smirks.] Good thing I saved an Akademiya dictionary from our Dendro overflow, because you clearly need it.

... [ kaveh LEERS are him. ] I'll give you Dendro overflow... I do not need it. I know there are other food groups Alhaitham. Do you know there are hobbies outside of reading books? [ uses the same 'mocking' tone alhaitham used on him. ]

I would certainly know about the existence of hobbies, because I know what it's like to have work-life balance.

[TECHNICALLY he doesn't right now since he's still Acting Grand Sage but whatever he can't let Kaveh think he's been waiting for the other man to come home like a sad puppy even if that was exactly what he was doing.]

[ this bitch. ]

Not all of us can have our jobs handed to us on a silver platter. [ ie, shutup. he doesn't really have the best come back for that, but he does look and sound annoyed. alhaitham already knows how he feels about his position of acting sage. lucky bastard. ]

Let's just get over to Lambad's. Mr. Work-life balance can foot the bill, since he's clearly got his stuff together. [ not that it was going to be any other way. going into this they both knew alhaitham would take care of things. kaveh can barely pay his half of the rent on time... let alone cough up the mora for anything else. ] I guess I am pretty hungry.

[He is absolutely RADIATING smug, because this means two of his favorite things: winning against Kaveh, and taking care of Kaveh. He lifts a hand to adjust the feather in Kaveh's hair. Isn't that sweet?

And then he opens his mouth.]

Straighten yourself out, you look like you got into a fight with a laundry shop and lost.

[ ...! ] Excuse me?! You-! [ kaveh inflates his cheeks, which turn red as he tries to come up with an insult to throw back in alhaitham's face. instead, he ends up gritting his teeth and growling at him like an animal. ] I do not! I look fine! you should be honored to be seen with me!

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